Are you wondering if SEL is just another snappy acronym which is all the rage today but will be old news by the end of the month? If so, I don’t blame you, in the evolving world of children we seem to be adding acronyms by the handful. However, I’m here to tell you that this one is important. Not only is it here to stay, it can be a real game changer for you and your little one. 

Breaking It Down

Let’s start with the basics, what does SEL even mean? Social-Emotional Learning is the process of developing the necessary skills to be successful in life, at school, and in “the real world”. Contrary to what some may believe, children do not naturally develop many important qualities such as: self-awareness, relationship skills, decision-making abilities, or emotional management. Life would be much easier if this were the case but the reality is, children need to learn these skills and the best time to learn is now.

When to Begin

It is never too early to begin modeling and developing social-emotional competence within your little one. Although the concepts and approach will look different throughout the various stages of a child’s life, beginning to develop basic social-emotional skills will only strengthen their abilities later in life when these skills will be put to the test. The good news is, most schools have been incorporating SEL into their curriculum for many years. However, if we are waiting until our children begin school, even preschool, we have missed out on many amazing opportunities to start fostering social-emotional skills from the very beginning.

Where Do I Start?

We can all spot a major meltdown from a mile away but typically once the warning signs are there, all we can do is hunker down and wait out the storm. You may be picturing a toddler in your head; however, these moments begin during infancy and can last through adulthood when the necessary social-emotional skills are not learned, practiced, and mastered. Now, imagine your little one having the necessary skills to regulate her emotions, communicate her needs, and decide upon a solution to the problem at hand. Sounds like a dream come true but the reality is, getting to that place takes time (like a lot of time), it takes awareness (from the adult and child), and it takes an understanding of how Social-Emotional Learning should be approached. 

So, you are ready to roll up your sleeves and do what it takes to begin on the path to helping your child develop social-emotional skills. Now you are wondering, where exactly do I begin? As mentioned, this will look differently throughout the various stages of your child’s life. 

Infants (birth-12 months)

At this stage, building a connection and supporting your child are the first steps to developing social-emotional awareness. A child’s relationship with their caregiver is the first exposure to understanding the world around them. Try a few of these activities and techniques with your infant: 

• Spend quality time doing activities together that are playful and involve physical touch as well as eye contact. You may be familiar with This Little Piggy or you may have your own favorite nursery rhyme which can be used during your time together. 
• Use Sign Language to empower your infant to communicate his needs prior to spoken language developing. Children can begin using Sign Language as young as 6 months and can express their desire for more food, a bottle, or a nap. 
• Introduce your little one to others around the same age. If you are struggling to find playmates for your child, check out your public library’s schedule, they often have baby story time or music time throughout the week.

Toddlers (12 months-3 years)

This might be the stage we think of the most when we picture those epic meltdowns which are oftentimes initiated by something we view as trivial. Our toddlers have many emotions and they struggle to express their wants and needs in a healthy manner. We can help support their development and growth when we introduce Social-Emotional Learning. I’m happy to share techniques you may want to utilize with your toddler:

• Recognize and acknowledge their feelings. Doing this when they are happy, excited, and joyful is just as important as when they are frustrated, angry, or nervous. Giving names to their emotions helps them understand how they are feeling. This can help them to develop emotional-awareness which comes in handy often as a toddler. 
• Develop a routine for calming themselves when their emotions are taking over. This may be putting one hand on their heart and one on their belly while taking slow deep breaths in then “blowing out the birthday candles”. Practice this often and model it for your little one. We don’t teach a child how to bat in the middle of their first baseball game; learning new skills takes place during practice. Make sure your practice is scheduled during a time where your child is happy, well-fed, and in the mood to “play ball”.
• Talk out loud. When you are having a stressful moment and your child is by your side, it helps to model the appropriate social-emotional behavior. So instead of yelling at the car who just cut you off, take a few deep breaths and say, “I am feeling frustrated that the car got in my way. It makes me mad when people do not wait their turn. I need to take a few minutes to calm myself down.” 

Preschoolers (3 years-5 years)

Typically, around the age of 3, but sometimes shortly after, your child has developed enough language to express his needs and wants. However, that does not always mean that they will have the necessary skills to navigate their emotions or behavior in specific situations. As you continue to elevate your child’s Social-Emotional Learning, these are some activities you may find helpful:

• Playtime is a wonderful opportunity to role-play various emotions or scenarios which your child may encounter. Have your child play the role of the caregiver while you pretend to be a child upset about breaking her favorite toy. You could also use puppets to act out various social situations like meeting new friends or feeling left out. Get creative, have fun, and know that your child is benefiting from these little moments.
• Reading is another wonderful avenue for developing social and emotional skills. There are so many amazing books targeted at important social-emotional concepts for children of all ages. Snuggle up with your little one and allow the characters to teach your child to self-regulate, build relationships, and handle difficult situations. 

If you haven’t figured it out already, Social-Emotional Learning does not have a final destination. There is no test children can pass to signify mastery in this area of development. Once your child enters elementary school, teachers will utilize an SEL curriculum to continue to build the necessary skills needed for success. However, support from home should continue through modeling, family discussions, and reflection. Social-Emotional Learning is not just some new fad or buzzword, it is a life-long journey that, when properly implemented, can have a significant impact on the lives of our children. 

By Hana Damico

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