Every parent hopes their child will have an easy life, but the reality is, all of us will
encounter difficult experiences at some point. Whether these challenges stem from
illness or family problems, financial stress or career setbacks, or any other number of
circumstances, they are, unfortunately, inevitable aspects of the human experience.

Yet not everyone copes with these difficulties in the same way. In the face of
adversity, some of us can be overwhelmed and derailed, while others are able to not
only cope with these challenges, but actually learn and grow from these experiences.
What sets apart these two groups, you might ask?

Resilience.

Resilience is defined by the American Psychological Association as the ability to
adapt to and cope with life’s challenges. It stems from the ability to be flexible, both
mentally, emotionally, and in how we behave. In other words, resilience is about our
ability to “bounce back.”

Our resilience is greatly impacted by the resources we have available to us,
including our social supports and coping strategies. But the good news is, all of these
can be developed, learned, and mastered through social-emotional learning (SEL). By
intentionally incorporating SEL into your home, you can help your children develop their
resilience, preparing them to take on life’s challenges with strength.

How SEL Helps Foster Resilience

Social-emotional learning helps foster resilience in children in many ways. To
begin, SEL helps kids learn how to understand and regulate their emotions. This is a
key ingredient in our ability to cope with challenges. When we are able to identify and
understand our emotions, we have better insight into our experiences. This prevents us
from letting our emotions and stress overpower us. We’re able to think with more clarity
and come up with constructive solutions or turn to healthy coping skills, rather than
letting these emotions overwhelm us and throw us off course.

SEL also helps kids learn how to identify and ask for the support they need.
Strong social support is one of the cornerstones of resilience. Resilient people know
that they don’t have to face life’s challenges alone, and can find strength in their
community and loved ones. Many people, though, often struggle to ask for support. SEL
helps kids learn not only the value of cultivating supportive relationships, but also how to

cultivate these relationships. With a strong support network and the skills to expand this
network, your children can move through life’s challenges more easily.

Finally, SEL also places an emphasis on developing healthy self-esteem and
confidence. This can play a critical role in how one copes with challenges. With low
self-esteem, even small setbacks can take a big hit on one’s self-worth. But when we
have a strong sense of self and a positive self-view, we’re more easily able to ‘bounce
back’ from these difficulties.

Imagine, for example, the day comes when your child is applying for college.
While we hope our kids will all get into their dream schools, there’s a chance they might
not. Children with low self-esteem, or children who tie their self-worth to their
achievements too much, might be devastated if they’re rejected from their dream
school. Children with positive self-esteem, however, are able to cope better; though
they’ll still feel disappointed and sad, they won’t take it as a reflection on their worth or
their value. Instead, they’ll be able to recognize it as part of the college admissions
process, understanding that they are still smart, capable, and intelligent.

How Parents Can Incorporate SEL

Now that we know how SEL can help encourage resilience, let’s break down
some of our favorite methods parents can use to incorporate SEL into their homes.

Morning Check-Ins:

Each morning, try to check-in with your kid about how they are feeling, what they
are looking forward to that day, and if there’s anything they’re worried about. This can
be an easy but effective way of developing their emotional awareness, as it gives them
dedicated time to practice checking in on and expressing their emotions. It’s like flexing
their emotional awareness muscles – the more often they practice this skill, the easier it
will become! This can also help foster a sense of support and stability, by showing them
that you care to hear about their feelings.

Bedtime Calm Moments:

Each night, try implementing a calming routine to encourage emotional regulation
and healthy coping skills. For instance, here at MindSparks Kids, we offer members
many different Calm Moments, like our 5 Minute Calm “Yoga Bear” Moment, and even
guided meditations, like our 10 Minute Nighttime Affirmation Meditation. Each night

before bed, try following one of these meditations or practicing 5 minutes of
mindfulness, to help your kids relax and wind down.

Fostering strong, healthy relaxation strategies in children can greatly increase
their resilience and ability to cope. When children practice healthy relaxation methods at
a young age, they’re more likely to turn to these healthy methods throughout the rest of
their life, rather than more maladaptive coping mechanisms. This sets them up to take
on difficulties with more ease and prevents them from making decisions that could
potentially harm them when faced with adversity.

Encourage Confidence:

Encouraging your children to be confident in who they are is one of the most
critical parts of developing resilience in children! When children have positive
self-esteem, they’re better able to cope with setbacks and challenges, as they’re more
likely to approach life with a growth mindset.

Be sure to praise them for their strengths and their efforts, and create a safe
space where they feel free to express their identities. You can also make use of
resources like our Confidence printable or our Affirmation Station, to design your home
in a way that encourages a positive self-view. With strong self-esteem, your children will
be able to bounce back from difficulties more quickly and maintain a more positive world
view.

Use Resources Effectively:

Resources like worksheets and videos aren’t exclusive to the classroom. In fact,
parents can take advantage of resources like those provided by MindSparks Kids right
at home!

Let’s imagine your child comes to you and shares that they’ve been feeling
depressed or down. Try sitting down with them and filling out our Depression
Worksheet. This worksheet provides prompts that encourage kids to tune into how
they’re feeling and what prompted these feelings, helping them gain greater insight into
their emotional experience. It also encourages self-reflection and self-soothing. Part of
resilience is about learning from the past as a way of coping with the present, and our
Depression Worksheet asks kids to think of a time when they felt this way before and
what they did to feel better. By completing worksheets like this alongside your child, you
can help them practice these self-soothing skills and in turn, boost their resilience.

SEL sometimes seems complicated, but it doesn’t have to be. By making
effective use of resources like those provided by MindSparks Kids, parents can easily
incorporate SEL into their homes.

In conclusion, fostering resilience in your children is one of the best things you
can do to ensure their future success. By incorporating social-emotional learning into
your home with a few easy steps, you can provide your children with the skills and tools
they need to navigate life’s challenges with grace and strength.

Try MindSpark Kids FREE for 7 days!

At MindSpark Kids, we help parents, caregivers, educators, and mental health professionals teach children how to develop necessary life skills. Why? Because socially and emotionally intelligent children grow up to be healthy, happy adults.

MindSpark Kids is an online membership with a database of social and emotional learning videos and worksheets to help children understand their emotions, make good decisions, and think critically.